How I Fell Back in Love With Social Media (and How You Can Too)
Confession time.
For a long time, I thought social media was the worst. Toxic. Brainwashing. A never-ending scroll of people who seemed to have it all together, while I sat there at midnight wondering why I didn’t.
Sometimes it can be all of those things, and sometimes it’s just plain self-sabotage.
Plot twist: I now love it. Genuinely love it. And not because the apps got nicer, or the alogrithm changed, but because I changed how I use them.
If you run a small business and social media feels like a chore you resent, this one’s for you. Let’s make social media for small business feel less like a battle and more like a good gig.
Why so many women in business hate social media
You didn’t start your business to become a content machine, or an admin guru, a HR consultant, a bookkeeper… (yet here we are!)… You started it because you’re brilliant at what you do.
Then someone told you that you “need to be on social media.” So you post when you remember, scroll when you’re tired, compare yourself to people with a whole team behind them, and close the app feeling worse than when you opened it.
Sound familiar? I’ve been there. BELIEVE ME.
I scrolled, compared, liked and shared other people’s stuff, resented them, hated myself for not doing enough… and then realised, the problem isn’t me.
The problem isn’t you, either. And it isn’t really social media, whilst we’re stating facts.
It’s that nobody showed you how to use it on your terms.
The algorithm isn’t out to get you, it’s copying you
This was my lightbulb moment… The algorithm shows you more of whatever you look at. That’s it. That’s the whole trick. Feel like you already knew that? That’s because you probably did.
If you linger on posts that make you feel rubbish, it serves up more of them.
If you spend time with content that inspires you, makes you laugh or teaches you something, guess what you get more of?
Once I realised I had a say in what my feed looked like, everything changed. I wasn’t a passenger anymore. I was choosing the setlist and I’m telling you now, I’ve got some bangers in there!
Step 1: Curate your feed like your favourite playlist
There’s always a song playing in my head, so here’s how I think about it. Your feed is a playlist. You wouldn’t keep a track on repeat that ruins your mood, so why do it with your feed?
- Unfollow or mute accounts that leave you feeling “less than.” You don’t owe anyone a follow.
- Tap “not interested” on posts you don’t want more of. Most platforms have the option, and it works.
- Follow accounts that lift you up. Other women in business. Creators who teach you something. Anything that makes you laugh (yes, those dog reels, or the clips of hilarious TV shows).
- Give it a couple of weeks. Your feed will start to feel like somewhere you actually want to be.
I curated my feeds to be positive, inspirational and fun, and the difference was huge. The content I was taking in stopped hurting my mental health and started fuelling my ideas instead.
Step 2: Set boundaries before the doom scroll sets them for you
Curating your feed is half the job. The other half is deciding when you use it.
I used to doom scroll all night… One more video, one more post… Suddenly it’s way past bedtime (ahem, not bedtime, 2am!) and all I’ve learned is that someone I went to school with has a new kitchen. Whoop-de-do for you.
So I put boundaries in place. Here’s a few that worked for me:
- Set a daily time limit on your apps. Your phone’s settings can do this for you.
- Turn off non-essential notifications. Not every like needs to interrupt your day and no DM is THAT important, unless it’s a business-only account.
- Give social media a time slot, rather than letting it fill every spare minute.
- No phones (or tech) in the bedroom, which actually forces conversation or another hobby like reading.
Boundaries aren’t about using social media less for the sake of it. They’re about using it on purpose.
Step 3: Swap mindless scrolling for scrolling with a purpose
Here’s where it gets good for your business.
When you scroll with a purpose, social media becomes the best free market research you’ll ever do. Ask yourself:
- What questions do my ideal clients keep asking in the comments or in-person?
- Which posts in my industry get people talking, and why?
- What are people tired of seeing?
Ten minutes of intentional scrolling can give you a week’s worth of content ideas. Ten minutes of mindless scrolling gives you… a new kitchen to be jealous of (shut up, Mary!).
Step 4: Make posting easier than avoiding it
Most of the dread around social media for small business owners isn’t the posting itself. It’s the deciding: What do I post? When do I post it? What do I even say?
So take the deciding out of it.
- Plan your content in advance, ideally a month at a time or if you’re brave, a quarter at a time.
- Give every post a job. I use the NerdBird Setlist: educate, entertain, promote and build trust.
- Use templates so you’re not designing from scratch every single time (game-changer).
- Batch create when you’ve got the energy, so you’re not scrambling at 9pm.
When posting takes minutes instead of hours, you stop avoiding it, and when you stop avoiding it, you start to enjoy it. I batch create 5-10 posts at a time, especially when I’m in the mood (usually with a glass of red).
What happens when you stop hating it
Here’s the thing nobody tells you. People can feel it when you hate being on social media. It shows up in rushed captions and forced posts.
Long silences can even suggest that you hate social media. It can be misleading and I think it’s more representative of burnout. Tell me what you think?
And they can feel it when you enjoy it, too.
When I stopped seeing social media as the enemy, my content got better. More me. More consistent. And the right people started paying attention.
Flock member Nikki Roy, said to me: “not only have I created 3 months worth of content, but I’ve also scheduled the content I’d been sitting on for months. You’ve kicked my arse into gear!!!”
I won’t pretend it’s easy. It takes time and work. But together, we can make you fall in love with social media instead of hating it.
And if that doesn’t work? I’ll do it for you. Either way, you’re winning.
TL;DR
- Social media can be toxic, but you have more control over it than you think.
- The algorithm shows you more of what you look at, so curate your feed like a playlist.
- Set boundaries (time limits, fewer notifications, a set time slot) to stop the doom scroll.
- Scroll with a purpose. It’s free market research for your business.
- Plan ahead, give every post a job and use templates, so posting takes minutes, not hours.
- Enjoying social media makes your content better, and your ideal clients will notice.
Ready to fall back in love with social media?
Inside the Flock of NerdBirds, you get a monthly content plan, Canva templates, done-for-you captions, live Hot Seats and a WhatsApp community of women in business who get it. All for £29 a month.
Rather hand the whole lot over? Have a look at my Social Media Management service.